In F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, Nick Carraway describes a sentiment while surrounded by the opulence and glaring secrets of his dear friends: “I was both within and without...” I came to know the paradox of within and without during my visit to Hong Kong in 2019.

Within

Hong Kong was the first country I visited independently, which presented a few adolescent-seeming insecurities, not to mention I didn’t speak the language.  Luckily, I was welcomed immediately by my friend’s parents, Gary and Diane, who generously housed me on Kowloon Island for the duration of my stay. At the airport, Diane picked me up, her eyeglasses clouded with raindrops, not from actual rain, but rather from the humidity of her car as it rained outside. Gary and Diane’s familiar faces and friendliness brought me immediate comfort. Their stunning home filled with treasures and memories from their international ex-pat lifestyle served as a muse for my cosmopolitan daydreams. With my temporary roommates, I was within; a traveler of the world who could always find a home, even far away.

During my first day in mainland Hong Kong, I certainly expected to stand out for my appearance, as I had in India, but to my surprise, no one really seemed to notice me at all, let alone with enough time to acknowledge me as an outsider. As I hurried around dense crowds of bodies and neon street signs, strides moved quickly, and separation grew, but I thrived off the energy and felt gratified to even be a witness to the new culture buzzing around me.

Without

One day, with an ambiguous set of directions, I found my way to the Chung King Estate basketball court. The accomplishment of navigating incorrect steps invoked a refreshed determination within me to wander as a local. After snapping a few photos to mark the occasion, I made my way back to the apartment street level where a father and son tossed a ball back and forth while the little one swivelled around on his scooter. As their eyes settled on me, the game came to a stop, only resuming once I was out of eyesight; a reminder that I was ‘without.’ 

Towards the middle of the trip, I visited a vintage boutique where a local stylist enthusiastically pulled together vintage articles for me to try on. Despite the high price tags, this momentary friendship felt within. As I began to leave, the stylist kindly warned me of a historical protest that would happen soon. Coincidentally, said protest was right around the corner from the boutique, and so I accidentally found myself alarmingly stuck in what turned out to be a 4 million-person protest. Due to the volume and route of the protest, and certainly through my own fault for being uninformed, I roamed the streets for hours seeking a way out. While I did feel a bit unnerved by the chanting and massive crowds, I felt mostly ‘without’ because I was a stranger to their cause, roaming without any purpose or understanding of the words and mission that was so passionately echoed around me. Despite my unawareness during those hours, it was still an honor to witness that piece of history.

Within & Without

While mainland Hong Kong is commonly known for its highly-populated cityscapes, the utopian beauty of the surrounding islands is not to be missed. On Kowloon Island, I set to hike [INSERT HIKE NAME] by recommendation from Gary and Diane’s daughter Hannah. After swirling around the island via a packed public bus, I was dropped off at the unassuming base of the hike. From the moment I stepped onto the hike’s path, surreal beauty surrounded me: lush plants with unique shapes, vivid green shades, and the peaceful hum of silence separated only by the sound of my shoe pressing onto the leaves that marked my path. Under the tree cover, I moved along the stair path with wonder, stopping only to peer through the branches into perfectly framed ocean views. The unexpected stunning view, the welcoming of the greenery, and the serendipity of my travels came to overwhelm me with gratitude. With joyful tears in my eyes and humid stickiness touching my skin, I charged up the 2 miles of stairs within the plants’ layer. At the peak, tropical grass swayed energetically in the breeze, and sweeping views of the entirety of Hong Kong’s islands fell easily into my line of sight. Not too far from where I stood, I caught a glimpse of a large man sitting atop a rock, where he casually ate an orange, seemingly less awestruck by the stunning surroundings than I had been. Therein lies the curiosity of solo travel: no two experiences are alike, even when they’re exactly the same. 

Intent on stepping back into the bubble of bliss unfolding around me, I wandered over to another rock to face the ocean and the islands, where I ended up sitting for hours and soaking in the beauty around me. I tried snapping a few photos to capture the memory, but nothing captured it in all its glory. In this moment, one of the most significant in my life, I was both within and without in the same moment. Though I’d captured a local feat and felt so tied into nature, the air, and the view around me, just within my eyesight were several island peaks that I would likely never have the pleasure of visiting. 

After climbing back down the steep path, I headed to the southernmost point of the island, a nearby beach that represented the juxtaposed bottom to the top just moments ago. From the sea level, I could see the peak of the hill I’d just climbed and had felt ‘within’ but also was surrounded by several local families playing in the sand, representing that I was also ‘without.’ Through the grounding of this phenomenon, it became clear to me that our moments of ‘without’ are integral and serve even just the momentary pleasure of experiencing anything ‘within.’ 

Just like there is no good without bad, no best without worst, there also must be a ‘within’ for every ‘without.’ Finding that sense of belonging, both in a foreign country and in our own homes, will always be a fleeting feeling but a permanent experience, where we can confidently say we were…“simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.”